–I felt hopeless and scared about what the future had in store for me. I let myself go, dressed frumpy, didn’t care what I wore, such as paint-spattered jogging pants (I am an artist after all), ill-fitting tops, and no make-up or hairstyle.
I could hear my Mom in saying with desperation “…aber Heidi” (but Heidi). I was raised in the fashion industry, learned style and design at the dinner table, bought and sold high-end designer clothes, met designers such as Giorgio Armani, Margaretha Ley from the ever so famous Escada and Laurel line, Coco Chanel, who invented style and quite a few more.
I traveled the world lived in Europe and the Far East. In the Far East, I was instrumental in building a hospital, which meant asking and begging the American Military for supplies, manpower, and goodwill.
The moment I realized and accepted the reality that with the passing of each day, month, and year my time capsule became smaller and smaller. “When” became a cold shower of urgency. Accepting reality was hard. Instinctively I knew that I had to change some things in my life. I also knew that it meant a lot of hard work and soul searching; my soul was wounded and needed some save to heal.
I delivered and adopted a little girl who is now a successful fashion designer living and working in Hong Kong. My son is following my example and travels around the world as the global marketing director for an International Company.
In the Far East, I also trained and taught locals, by order of the Trade Minister, to develop furniture and baskets for the American market. Upon return to the United States, I launched my furniture company, the Weitzer Collection. A very successful company selling uniquely designed furniture and giftware. In 1981 I was the forerunner introducing “ Whitewashed” distressed furniture at the Chicago Gift Show. I won the first price in the “Best designer” category.
After twenty-three years of marriage, I divorced my husband and lost everything. My love for style and design convinced me to start an international decorative art school, which was very successful. After many years of designing and teaching, I realized that I was getting older. My body ached, inspiration was missing, and, finally, I began the search for something new. I always loved to write; I wrote an herb column for now-defunct St. Louis Globe newspaper. I decided to try my luck with the ever so popular blogging business because I have many stories to tell, and I can teach and advise where wanted. A life full of trials, tribulation, and experiences good or bad and still surviving.
I resigned from the school and never looked back. However, desperation had set in. I had to learn to deal with getting older, starting over one more time hoping that I would be blessed again. Without school and my students, I felt lost and alone. The change was very tough and occurred slowly. I started to become interested in fashion again and got rid of all my old, dated clothing, keeping only some essential items which I could use as a vital capsule wardrobe, added some sporty and classic pieces, threw away my paint-spattered jeans, jogging pants, and ill-fitting tops. I adopted a new hairstyle and let my hair take its natural course – going grey. I started again training for a marathon but fell over my four-legged companion and was severely hurt. My world, as I knew, seemed to come to an end. Two years of pain, speech problems, severe memory loss, sitting on the pity pot, feeling worthless followed. I knew I had to dig myself out of this big hole I had fallen in. Step by step, one day at a time and being grateful that I was getting better brought some sunshine back into my life. Now that I am better again and looking back, I realize that I learned valuable lessons that have let back to a happy and fulfilled life. I learned that you are as strong as you want to be. There are always options you may decide on. Not taking these options will make you ill. Even if you make the wrong decision, you did not stand still but moved forward. There are no mistakes, only learning experiences. These experiences become mistakes if you don’t learn from them and do the same thing over and over.